Comparison is the thief of Joy

So many women think what they do is ‘wrong compared with X’ ‘not good enough compared with X’ ‘not as good as the next person/thing/past/future whatever it may be. For so many I speak to daily it just rolls off the tongue. What women say so harshly about themselves is literally on autopilot.

This was me for many years comparing myself  to others:

  • Size
  • Shape
  • Fat percentage
  • Inches lost or gained
  • Career
  • Salary
  • Holidays
  • House
  • Fitness levels
  • Mother
  • Lifestyle

The list goes on….

We all compare and judge to some degree and it’s perfectly normal at a safe and surface level. But when it cuts deep, and you use it to beat yourself up over & over again that’s when comparing really does start to steal your joy.

The part of the brain that cares about connection – the mammalian brain in women is bigger than in men so we do care more about the ‘he said/ she said’, ‘god, what are they thinking about me’ thoughts and conversations. It feels more personal, we worry more about being judged – yep all thanks to our female wiring.

The more you compare the more you steal joy from your life.

These days we have social media and many minutes and hours each week are spent viewing and comparing to other people’s lives. Just like the magazines I used to buy all the time – glossy, shiny, at their very best. The good o’ highlight reel as it is often referred to. Full of great info but can be used as a tool for comparison to what is yet more pressure we place on ourselves.

What happens in the brain when you continually compare yourself in this way, you will create a deeper belief about yourself. It literally becomes true as everything you are becomes infected by this feeling of not being good enough compared to others. A measuring stick if you like, but one where no one really wins. For me all I could see was how bad I was at everything compared to everyone else.

Please know that you can break this cycle and you can change these beliefs about yourself. I’ve been there and done just that!

Just like cooking a meal or doing a workout; mindset changes also takes time, effort and commitment. That’s what I love to help women do – to transform from the inside and out and let go of comparing.

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